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havenrpg
Name: Laurel
Contact Info: PMs to this journal
Other Characters Played: None
Preferred Apartment: None
Character Name: Heisuke Toudou
Canon: Shinsengumi Mokuhiroku Wasurenagusa
Canon Point: After he has recovered from his injury received at the Ikedaya affair; between tracks 1 and 2 of the first CD.
Background/History: He is a character in an otome drama CD series based off a historical figure. Here is an article about the historical figure. Here are translations of discs one and two of his volume. Warning: Disc 1 is mildly NSFW, disc 2 is majorly NSFW. The long and short of it is that the CDs take place during historical events that the listener is a part of as the "protagonist" of the series, whom the characters in the CDs fall in love with. Because the subject of his canon can be a little touchy, I have a permissions post here so that I can be aware of who is and is not comfortable with some of Heisuke's behaviors.
Personality: All things considered, Heisuke isn't all that bad a guy. He is a pretty capable person (as evidenced by Hijikata telling him to look after the protagonist and also sending him on a trip to recruit new soldiers for the Shinsengumi) and his heart is generally in the right place. When people (or at least pretty girls, if we assume the protagonist is some sort of a special exception) seem down, he tries to cheer them up. He is the kind of person who will speak on someone's behalf and then, when thanked, will say that they "just happened to be talking about them" and that he was just stating facts, not doing anything special. He likes to be thought well of, though, which is probably why he is kind to people when he can afford to be. He knows very well that sometimes kindness is a luxury he doesn't have and even though at his current canon point he doesn't have any particular desire to share experiences with other people, he is capable of developing that desire once he gets to know someone (as seen in the differences between how he treats to protagonist on disc one as opposed to disc two).
That said, he is actually pretty mischievous. When there is someone he likes (whether it be in a platonic or romantic sense), he can be merciless with his teasing (sometimes bordering on harassment, as experienced by the protagonist). When there is someone he doesn't like, he taunts them (as seen in the track depicting the battle at the Ikedaya, where he yells "Don't run away from me! I'm surprised you can call yourself a soldier with that kind of skill!") He can be a little immature at times and takes things a little too far (with varying results, such as getting punched by the protagonist or getting a massive forehead injury). Sometimes he lies in order to get closer to someone he is interested in (at his canonpoint it hasn't happened yet, but he tells the protagnist that his parents were killed just like hers in order to get closer to her). However, when it's pointed out to him that he's gone too far, he does apologize sincerely. It's just that he doesn't always realize when he's crossed a line, and needs to have it pointed out to him. He isn't deliberately malicious, just a bit of a joker.
Often, he jokes to hide his insecurities, which are numerous: They range from insecurities about being an illegitimate child to being unable to carry out his duty to questioning the way the Shinsengumi has started to change from what it was originally. One of his biggest insecurities has to do with how he views the subject of killing. Simply put, he doesn't like to do it; though he hasn't said it at his canonpoint, killing makes him feel "as if [his] heart is being torn out," and he remembers the way he felt when he first killed a man. This dialogue with the protagonist shows two things: Firstly, that it is something he's dealt with for a long time, a secondly that once he gets to know someone, he can open up to them about things that are bothering him.
In spite of the way that it bothers him to kill, he still does it. As a captain of the Shinsengumi, he carries out Hijikata's will in killing lawless roshi wherever he encounters them, be it Kyoto or Edo or anywhere else. Duty comes first to him, his own feelings second; just because he doesn't like it doesn't keep him from doing it, because to him the Shinsengumi is important (even if he does question the way it is changing). In the track with the Ikedaya, he questions whether or not he was dying "for the sake of someone else... for the Shinsengumi," and when he determines that he isn't, he says that he doesn't think he can die peacefully like that. Even with his doubts, the Shinsengumi is important enough to him that he is willing to deal with the way killing makes him feel in order to do his job. He does say that he doesn't want to be the type of person who can kill without emotion, and that he isn't sure if such thoughts are right for a captain of the Shinsengumi, but he is willing to attempt to work past those doubts for an organization he cares about so much.
He sometimes has difficulty accepting the support and gratitude of others. When someone tries to thank him for looking after them, he says it was "just his job" and that there is no need for thanks. He can be the type of person who denies having gone out of his way for someone (unless he wants him to think extremely well of them, in which case he points out what he's done). When he is already in a stressed-out state of mind, he can sometimes snap at people and push them away: The most obvious instance of this is when he kills a lawless roshi on the Edo recruitment trip and then demands that the protagonist let go of his hands because "they're dirty," even after he has already washed off the blood. When someone has become important to him, however, he can definitely soften; when he becomes attached to someone he treats them gently and wants to protect them no matter what, even if he is a little awkward at expressing those sentiments. When he is willing to let himself feel instead of think, he can be strangely eloquent as well. It is mostly when he overthinks things and gets over-excited that he lapses back into his habits of holding people at a distance.
Despite the way he can sometimes push people away, Heisuke has some rather deep-seated abandonment issues stemming from the treatment he and his mother suffered at the hands of his father (or rather, the aftereffects from being an illegitimate, unacknowledged child). He desperately wants people to see him for himself and to remember him for who he is and what he's done, and has wanted this since he was a child: he says that his mother sometimes saw his father when she looked at him, and that bothered him. When he gets attached to someone, this increases a thousandfold. The thing he is most afraid of in the world is being forgotten and having someone he cares for deeply move on to someone else. He worries often about whether or not people care for him as much as he cares for them, to the point that he asks them to repeatedly tell them how they feel about him, and wonders how he can make sure that they are his even after he is gone. The thought of someone he loves "forgetting about [him] and loving another man" is a bit of a berserk button for him and prompts him to do everything he can in order to ensure that he is memorable, to the point of being a little bit intense ("I might really kill you if you let someone else hear it," "How can I make sure I never disappear from your memories, not even for an instant," "I want to control you completely," and so on). Even when he says things like that, however, he never actually does anything to harm the person he is talking about, and it is more an expression of his insecurities than a real threat.
He does worry that he is unreliable, even as he asks people to trust in him. Specifically, he is concerned about where his loyalties lie in regards to the Shinsengumi. It is not the people he feels he may be disloyal to: He cares greatly for Hijikata and the ranking captains of the Shinsengumi, but he worries over differences in opinion (he is a devotee of the Emperor, while many in the Shinsengumi are wholly devoted to the Shogun, but because the Shogun was also devoted to the Emperor they were able to work together) that may cause tension between himself and them. In the end, though, he says that he "believe[s] the path [he's] taking has to be right," and vows to be true to himself and do his best to serve Japan. Ultimately, what he wants is to be able to act on his loyalty to his country and Emperor, even in the face of his doubts.
Abilities/Powers: He is a practitioner of the Hokushin Ittō-ryu and trained for a time at the Shieikan dojo, so his skill with the sword is exceptional enough to have made him a division captain despite being one of the younger members of the Shinsengumi. Aside from that he is just your average baseline human: his speed and strength is exceptional but all of it is something that can be achieved from training, without supernatural means.
Items/Weapons: Kazusanosuke Kaneshige katana, a second unnamed katana, and a small pouch of money that he was going to use to buy bean buns. :(
Sample Entry: Dear Mun post
Sample Entry Two: The sky is a brilliant blue this morning. When he looks up at it, Heisuke Toudou is reminded of the things he has to protect. When he looks ahead, his is also reminded.
His troop is on the early patrol, making their way through the streets of Kyoto. All around them, there are people going about their lives in peace. The chef cooks, the blacksmith forges, the peddler hawks his wares. Young women are out doing their grocery shopping, stocking up on things to cook. Children play in the streets, alight with innocence that is so uncommon in people after they reach a certain age.
It's a very idyllic scene, he thinks, and he can't help but smile as he watches them. These are the people he has taken up a sword to protect. If his life is difficult, it is only so theirs don't have to be.
His smile vanishes and is replaced by a no-nonsense expression as he turns to address his soldiers. "Men!" He says, straightening up a little in an attempt to make himself look taller. This is largely unnecessary. The men who serve under him know that he has earned his stripes in spite of being the youngest captain of the Shinsengumi and in spite of being younger than some of them, but he still worries about it anyway. They are attentive, as they should be. He is speaking now as Toudou, the captain of the Eighth Division, not as Heisuke, the man. "Be on your guard. We've received information that there are some lawless roshi from Choshu about."
The men nod. They are aware, as Heisuke is, that the haori marking them as members of the Shinsengumi also makes them targets for those whose ideals are opposite them. But if wearing them on patrol can keep even one rebel from acting up in public, can keep even one innocent bystander safe, it is worth the risk.
My mission is to keep these people safe, he thinks as he starts walking again, his eyes lingering on the people whose worries are not of whether they will live or die but more mundane and more domestic. I absolutely will not fail!
Contact Info: PMs to this journal
Other Characters Played: None
Preferred Apartment: None
Character Name: Heisuke Toudou
Canon: Shinsengumi Mokuhiroku Wasurenagusa
Canon Point: After he has recovered from his injury received at the Ikedaya affair; between tracks 1 and 2 of the first CD.
Background/History: He is a character in an otome drama CD series based off a historical figure. Here is an article about the historical figure. Here are translations of discs one and two of his volume. Warning: Disc 1 is mildly NSFW, disc 2 is majorly NSFW. The long and short of it is that the CDs take place during historical events that the listener is a part of as the "protagonist" of the series, whom the characters in the CDs fall in love with. Because the subject of his canon can be a little touchy, I have a permissions post here so that I can be aware of who is and is not comfortable with some of Heisuke's behaviors.
Personality: All things considered, Heisuke isn't all that bad a guy. He is a pretty capable person (as evidenced by Hijikata telling him to look after the protagonist and also sending him on a trip to recruit new soldiers for the Shinsengumi) and his heart is generally in the right place. When people (or at least pretty girls, if we assume the protagonist is some sort of a special exception) seem down, he tries to cheer them up. He is the kind of person who will speak on someone's behalf and then, when thanked, will say that they "just happened to be talking about them" and that he was just stating facts, not doing anything special. He likes to be thought well of, though, which is probably why he is kind to people when he can afford to be. He knows very well that sometimes kindness is a luxury he doesn't have and even though at his current canon point he doesn't have any particular desire to share experiences with other people, he is capable of developing that desire once he gets to know someone (as seen in the differences between how he treats to protagonist on disc one as opposed to disc two).
That said, he is actually pretty mischievous. When there is someone he likes (whether it be in a platonic or romantic sense), he can be merciless with his teasing (sometimes bordering on harassment, as experienced by the protagonist). When there is someone he doesn't like, he taunts them (as seen in the track depicting the battle at the Ikedaya, where he yells "Don't run away from me! I'm surprised you can call yourself a soldier with that kind of skill!") He can be a little immature at times and takes things a little too far (with varying results, such as getting punched by the protagonist or getting a massive forehead injury). Sometimes he lies in order to get closer to someone he is interested in (at his canonpoint it hasn't happened yet, but he tells the protagnist that his parents were killed just like hers in order to get closer to her). However, when it's pointed out to him that he's gone too far, he does apologize sincerely. It's just that he doesn't always realize when he's crossed a line, and needs to have it pointed out to him. He isn't deliberately malicious, just a bit of a joker.
Often, he jokes to hide his insecurities, which are numerous: They range from insecurities about being an illegitimate child to being unable to carry out his duty to questioning the way the Shinsengumi has started to change from what it was originally. One of his biggest insecurities has to do with how he views the subject of killing. Simply put, he doesn't like to do it; though he hasn't said it at his canonpoint, killing makes him feel "as if [his] heart is being torn out," and he remembers the way he felt when he first killed a man. This dialogue with the protagonist shows two things: Firstly, that it is something he's dealt with for a long time, a secondly that once he gets to know someone, he can open up to them about things that are bothering him.
In spite of the way that it bothers him to kill, he still does it. As a captain of the Shinsengumi, he carries out Hijikata's will in killing lawless roshi wherever he encounters them, be it Kyoto or Edo or anywhere else. Duty comes first to him, his own feelings second; just because he doesn't like it doesn't keep him from doing it, because to him the Shinsengumi is important (even if he does question the way it is changing). In the track with the Ikedaya, he questions whether or not he was dying "for the sake of someone else... for the Shinsengumi," and when he determines that he isn't, he says that he doesn't think he can die peacefully like that. Even with his doubts, the Shinsengumi is important enough to him that he is willing to deal with the way killing makes him feel in order to do his job. He does say that he doesn't want to be the type of person who can kill without emotion, and that he isn't sure if such thoughts are right for a captain of the Shinsengumi, but he is willing to attempt to work past those doubts for an organization he cares about so much.
He sometimes has difficulty accepting the support and gratitude of others. When someone tries to thank him for looking after them, he says it was "just his job" and that there is no need for thanks. He can be the type of person who denies having gone out of his way for someone (unless he wants him to think extremely well of them, in which case he points out what he's done). When he is already in a stressed-out state of mind, he can sometimes snap at people and push them away: The most obvious instance of this is when he kills a lawless roshi on the Edo recruitment trip and then demands that the protagonist let go of his hands because "they're dirty," even after he has already washed off the blood. When someone has become important to him, however, he can definitely soften; when he becomes attached to someone he treats them gently and wants to protect them no matter what, even if he is a little awkward at expressing those sentiments. When he is willing to let himself feel instead of think, he can be strangely eloquent as well. It is mostly when he overthinks things and gets over-excited that he lapses back into his habits of holding people at a distance.
Despite the way he can sometimes push people away, Heisuke has some rather deep-seated abandonment issues stemming from the treatment he and his mother suffered at the hands of his father (or rather, the aftereffects from being an illegitimate, unacknowledged child). He desperately wants people to see him for himself and to remember him for who he is and what he's done, and has wanted this since he was a child: he says that his mother sometimes saw his father when she looked at him, and that bothered him. When he gets attached to someone, this increases a thousandfold. The thing he is most afraid of in the world is being forgotten and having someone he cares for deeply move on to someone else. He worries often about whether or not people care for him as much as he cares for them, to the point that he asks them to repeatedly tell them how they feel about him, and wonders how he can make sure that they are his even after he is gone. The thought of someone he loves "forgetting about [him] and loving another man" is a bit of a berserk button for him and prompts him to do everything he can in order to ensure that he is memorable, to the point of being a little bit intense ("I might really kill you if you let someone else hear it," "How can I make sure I never disappear from your memories, not even for an instant," "I want to control you completely," and so on). Even when he says things like that, however, he never actually does anything to harm the person he is talking about, and it is more an expression of his insecurities than a real threat.
He does worry that he is unreliable, even as he asks people to trust in him. Specifically, he is concerned about where his loyalties lie in regards to the Shinsengumi. It is not the people he feels he may be disloyal to: He cares greatly for Hijikata and the ranking captains of the Shinsengumi, but he worries over differences in opinion (he is a devotee of the Emperor, while many in the Shinsengumi are wholly devoted to the Shogun, but because the Shogun was also devoted to the Emperor they were able to work together) that may cause tension between himself and them. In the end, though, he says that he "believe[s] the path [he's] taking has to be right," and vows to be true to himself and do his best to serve Japan. Ultimately, what he wants is to be able to act on his loyalty to his country and Emperor, even in the face of his doubts.
Abilities/Powers: He is a practitioner of the Hokushin Ittō-ryu and trained for a time at the Shieikan dojo, so his skill with the sword is exceptional enough to have made him a division captain despite being one of the younger members of the Shinsengumi. Aside from that he is just your average baseline human: his speed and strength is exceptional but all of it is something that can be achieved from training, without supernatural means.
Items/Weapons: Kazusanosuke Kaneshige katana, a second unnamed katana, and a small pouch of money that he was going to use to buy bean buns. :(
Sample Entry: Dear Mun post
Sample Entry Two: The sky is a brilliant blue this morning. When he looks up at it, Heisuke Toudou is reminded of the things he has to protect. When he looks ahead, his is also reminded.
His troop is on the early patrol, making their way through the streets of Kyoto. All around them, there are people going about their lives in peace. The chef cooks, the blacksmith forges, the peddler hawks his wares. Young women are out doing their grocery shopping, stocking up on things to cook. Children play in the streets, alight with innocence that is so uncommon in people after they reach a certain age.
It's a very idyllic scene, he thinks, and he can't help but smile as he watches them. These are the people he has taken up a sword to protect. If his life is difficult, it is only so theirs don't have to be.
His smile vanishes and is replaced by a no-nonsense expression as he turns to address his soldiers. "Men!" He says, straightening up a little in an attempt to make himself look taller. This is largely unnecessary. The men who serve under him know that he has earned his stripes in spite of being the youngest captain of the Shinsengumi and in spite of being younger than some of them, but he still worries about it anyway. They are attentive, as they should be. He is speaking now as Toudou, the captain of the Eighth Division, not as Heisuke, the man. "Be on your guard. We've received information that there are some lawless roshi from Choshu about."
The men nod. They are aware, as Heisuke is, that the haori marking them as members of the Shinsengumi also makes them targets for those whose ideals are opposite them. But if wearing them on patrol can keep even one rebel from acting up in public, can keep even one innocent bystander safe, it is worth the risk.
My mission is to keep these people safe, he thinks as he starts walking again, his eyes lingering on the people whose worries are not of whether they will live or die but more mundane and more domestic. I absolutely will not fail!